Today-Stuff

I don't know what really happened today.......It wasn't a blurr but something I kinda want to forget except for a few things. Well, today during lunch Ben, Dan, and Mitchell kept staring at me and I am not sure why....I think they thought I was staring at them....I finally know who Zach P likes YAY!!! But yea....anyways. During bad Tyler was hitting me and then Matt H. said it isn't nice to hit girls and Tyler said dont' worry I'm not!! And I stopped and looked at him and he said I was an it. I mean normally I don't care but still I mean I hate that him and Ethan like run away from me....O well that seems to be the only thing people do unless teachers like Frau tell them too......Anyways then Tyler kept asking me if I was gay and then I was like girls can't be and he said I know that is why I am asking you.. So that hurt me really bad...A lot of people say that about me and it hurts.....And then today in cheerleading Frau told us to go as a group to go get medical forms well I went with Brittany, Paige and Brooke. Well, Paige started to run so Brit run after her then brooke came up and slowed by me and I started to talk to her and she ran after them....I hate Brooke right now....I am mad at Brit cause she tells me to wait for her yet she doesn't wait for me so screw her and Brooke......I dont' know Kay was nice to me today and Mal was too. But i was so sad and I mean people cared but no one cared like enough no one seemed too. NO one took me aside and talked to me....Emily tried but Brooke B. came I can only talk to Em, Mal and Kay about stuff.....I don't trust anyone else. I needed them but they didn't know that I almost was thinking about sucide then I thought no even though I dont' think I matter that much.....Then I thought about making me throw-up just to get out of cheerleading but those all were too drastic so I just delt with it.....here I am now.....Waiting still waiting and always will for that one friend that will be there at lunch, tough times, sad and depressing days and just there even if they aren't talkin at all , I guess I will have to wait and wait and wait and wait.